such a tristful state

WHAT MAKES ONE BLUE?

just this morning i was walking through the corridors of my work place and thought to myself how lucky i was. the fact is, there is nothing wrong. but then again there is nothing to be too gleeful about either. this sounds like a case of the glass being half empty or half full.

i am generally an optimistic person finding delight in the tiniest detail, say a cool but sunny day, finding my old favorite songs and videos, a great lecture, a praise from a superior, a good non-work related conversation with a role model, even a new ring tone...but the irony of it all is that i have always been thrown into a life with somber people (i guess not really thrown, duh! of all people i should know this, just look at the header!).

so what does make one blue? is it the lack of excess? is it a life of mediocrities? is it the lack of something to look forward to? is it all rolled into 1?

such a labile mood i am in today......maybe im just comfortably dizzy......

These are days of hit and run
In the stream with everyone
Is a moment of our lives

On a wandering river
Going on together
Many journeys to arrive

I've been walking
Through the valley
Through the tall grass
And the shadows
And I feel it
I can see it
Yes I need it
I believe it

Through the city
And the towers
Turning minutes
Into hours
And I feel it
I can see it
Yes I need it
I believe it

When I think I'm being strong
And I lose direction
then a life starts looking mischievous
Finding revelation
Out of desperation
Always stretching time
But it's never long enough

You think you're happy
Think you're free
But maybe we're just
Comfortably dizzy

I've been running
Through the valley
Through the tall grass
And the shadows
And I feel it
I can see it
Yes I need it
I believe it

Through the city
And the towers
Turning minutes
Into hours
And I feel it
I can see it
Yes I need it
I believe it

I've been running
Through the valley
Through the tall grass
Through the shadows
And I feel it
I can see it
Yes I need it
I believe it

Through the city
And the towers
Turning minutes
Into hours
And I feel it
I can see it
Yes I need it
I believe it


maybe as always, my emotions are just easily swayed
REMEMBER YOU CREATE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS!!!!

.....maybe if i say it over and over, i will again convince myself. after all, isnt this what i have been doing all these years? cloaked in a state of nonchalance to hide the fact that im rearing to go on an adventure. and why? because i have been held down by anchors that i myself have chosen.

so i shut my ears from reality and find comfort in replays that reflect a period when i thought i was happily living a fantasy.



photo by cindy diaz