Tuesday, December 25, 2007
tearful christmas
where has the cheer of christmas gone? im such a scrooge -i cant believe it, me a scrooge?!-
as usual the kid in me have been waiting for christmas, giddy with thoughts of the presents i will get, ecstatic that i have been blessed with such a great schedule that will allow me to enjoy the holidays before i was a slave in the hospital. so i went home, from duty and all but fully awake as i wait for santa to come.
merry christmas everyone! so i wake up my sleeping hubby and we exchange christmas hugs. then we head to the dining room surprised that it was all dark -where is the noche buena?-
let me give you a brief background on how christmas eve is spent in the house i am in today....well to summarize it is not celebrated at all.....no festive christmas tree, no gifts underneath, no noche buena filled with scrumptious food.....while in my original household, chritmas eve is the most awaited time of the year (aside from new year that is) as the tree becomes more and more crowded with gifts and you pick and shake those with your names on it (sometimes catching mommy who cant bear her curiosity) as the excitement mounts. the 24th is usually spent eagerly waiting for midnight to strike and when it does the whole family troops to the tree and start dividing their loot (you could always numerous gifts as mommy made sure we opened a lot of gifts each year). of course the usual picture taking with our newly acquired treasures then off to the noche buena table where there were so much food enough to last till new year!
-so last night, i tried to hide my dissappoitment by not getting mad at our help who did not cook the noche buena as she thought that this christmas eve would be just as it has always been in this house, and dissappointment still that when we took our plastic clad gifts to my father in law's room to wish him a cheery christmas he was in bed already half asleep. so we went back to our room with our noche buena tray of a little bowl of sopas and a bowl of my first ever fruit salad. with those sad pictures of what would be my first christmas eve as a wife, i just couldnt help but cry when we got back to our room. i cried and bawled and cried some more until i realized i would look bad in the pictures that might be taken the next day -what a vain person i truly am-
so i guess the only thing left to do was open our gifts which i felt bad about because i had no special gift to give to my hubby -what a rotten eve it was-
i was somehow consoled and we went to bed only to wake up the next day like any other day with me getting up too early and my hubby still sleeping -how i wanted to wake him us but decided against it as i wouldnt want to ruin my christmas day with a grouch. so i opened my only delight this christmas (my new computer) and started to really make it my own, personalizing this and that and finally getting my music files in order as i was nearing the end of my task i was happy to see that mr sleeping beauty was already stirring to get up. this was of course before he pointed out to me that i had been spending the first few hours of christmas thinking i was deleting files which i really wasnt. and to top it off i had to return the files so that i could properly delete them. and worst of all, as i tried to gain control of the mouse so that i could learn and not just be a bystander in the process, mr sleeping beauty said 'sige ikaw na' and left me in the middle of the process i did not know how to do......how sorry could that get?
as usual the kid in me have been waiting for christmas, giddy with thoughts of the presents i will get, ecstatic that i have been blessed with such a great schedule that will allow me to enjoy the holidays before i was a slave in the hospital. so i went home, from duty and all but fully awake as i wait for santa to come.
merry christmas everyone! so i wake up my sleeping hubby and we exchange christmas hugs. then we head to the dining room surprised that it was all dark -where is the noche buena?-
let me give you a brief background on how christmas eve is spent in the house i am in today....well to summarize it is not celebrated at all.....no festive christmas tree, no gifts underneath, no noche buena filled with scrumptious food.....while in my original household, chritmas eve is the most awaited time of the year (aside from new year that is) as the tree becomes more and more crowded with gifts and you pick and shake those with your names on it (sometimes catching mommy who cant bear her curiosity) as the excitement mounts. the 24th is usually spent eagerly waiting for midnight to strike and when it does the whole family troops to the tree and start dividing their loot (you could always numerous gifts as mommy made sure we opened a lot of gifts each year). of course the usual picture taking with our newly acquired treasures then off to the noche buena table where there were so much food enough to last till new year!
-so last night, i tried to hide my dissappoitment by not getting mad at our help who did not cook the noche buena as she thought that this christmas eve would be just as it has always been in this house, and dissappointment still that when we took our plastic clad gifts to my father in law's room to wish him a cheery christmas he was in bed already half asleep. so we went back to our room with our noche buena tray of a little bowl of sopas and a bowl of my first ever fruit salad. with those sad pictures of what would be my first christmas eve as a wife, i just couldnt help but cry when we got back to our room. i cried and bawled and cried some more until i realized i would look bad in the pictures that might be taken the next day -what a vain person i truly am-
so i guess the only thing left to do was open our gifts which i felt bad about because i had no special gift to give to my hubby -what a rotten eve it was-
i was somehow consoled and we went to bed only to wake up the next day like any other day with me getting up too early and my hubby still sleeping -how i wanted to wake him us but decided against it as i wouldnt want to ruin my christmas day with a grouch. so i opened my only delight this christmas (my new computer) and started to really make it my own, personalizing this and that and finally getting my music files in order as i was nearing the end of my task i was happy to see that mr sleeping beauty was already stirring to get up. this was of course before he pointed out to me that i had been spending the first few hours of christmas thinking i was deleting files which i really wasnt. and to top it off i had to return the files so that i could properly delete them. and worst of all, as i tried to gain control of the mouse so that i could learn and not just be a bystander in the process, mr sleeping beauty said 'sige ikaw na' and left me in the middle of the process i did not know how to do......how sorry could that get?
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