self expectations and new year's resolutions

i remember during my younger days when xmas season meant finishing xmas shopping before anyone ever started theirs and doing my annual life check so that i could formulate my new years resolution. such an OC!
where has that person gone? not only have i not bought a single gift (1 week before xmas) but i have failed in certain areas of my life and could careless!
WHY?
is it because i have other priorities now?
have i been overly spoiled that i now lack discipline?
is it because im just too old for xmas?
am i done with the giving mode and have moved to the taking mode?
or have i improved and become normal.......
WHO SETS THE STANDARDS?
these days it is i
how low could i get on my pedia exams (if i got those grades when i was back in HS i would have probably jumped off a bridge!)? but i believe i have done excellent in taking care of my patients........my priority is on patient care, less on academics.......but can those two really be separated?
money is no matter when getting what i want.....im not hard to please so my wants arent that expensive but definitely more than what my starting salary could buy....but do i feel guilty when i pamper myself and end up bankrupt? sad to say i dont.....
New Year's Resolution? im working on it because i think despite being less OC i need to get my life back on track to maximize whatever i have at hand, financial wise, precious time, and ACADEMICALLY!!!
i dont think i have ever been embarrassed and had let go of the feeling as if it had been blown away by the wind like i did during last wednessday's meeting. it had flown with the wind and its so embarrassing that i dont want to recall it!
GETTING THERE
but i believe im still going where i want to go only im not sure if im approaching it the right way, if there is a better way.......

the xmas spirit

hahaha! finally placed my xmas video on my blog!
go ahead..... call me naive.......

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for ChristmasIs you...
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
You babyI won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
Im just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
i won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is youYou...
All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
- won't you please bring my baby to me...
Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas isYou...
All I want for Christmas is you baby...

on splurging and being bankrupt

i went to the derma today and made a big splurge! i had just intended to get a facial but walked out with my half month's pay of daily regimen!
vanity......

coffee girl

i just love coffee! i cant imagine mornings without it! i remember back when i was small i would persist on having it in the morning and i would be allowed to have my coffee which, back then, was milk spiked with a tiny sprinkle of instant coffee. so young but with the makings of a coffee nut!

karate kid

there is this new japanese fastfood and we thought it would be fun to try out. nothing spectacular. but their tofu is ggggrrreeat!

26 days to go till they come

i cant wait!!!!

fulfillment is where success starts

i had a great chat with one of my good friends from back in high school. we were discussing how our lives had brought us to a profession we loved.

my day off, my second cup of coffee, and the rest of my saturday

half day off and i had the day planned......i was to study for the up coming exam and where else can i do that but in my fave loner hang out place!
christmas is truly in the air......the red cup is back in my fave coffee store and where better to drink it at but at the newly opened branch at the top floor of the shang. it is to become my fave branch. and why you ask? because it is indoor but with so much sunshine being beside the big windows on the top floor. and if ever it gets too sunny the electric shades come down to protect you from sunburn. i was so relaxed that i was falling asleep after my first cup of coffee (im hopeless). what could i do, i bought a second cup and ordered it with an extra shot of espresso! yum!
going along with the christmas spirit i had bought myself a new oil burner scent.....candied citrus. it smells like all the good sweet things of christmas! and may it bring good sweet things ahead!
i then headed to meet maan for dinner. on the way i had taken the public transport as ruby is hybernating (something she does when her driver is away). the driver was so law abiding and i was so awed that i wanted to offer him some of the food i had bought for maan. as i was about to get off he opened the candy on the dash and to my disappointment threw the wrapper out the door......oh well, you cant have it all!
45 days till Christmas!!!!!

budding neonatologist

today i did my very first surfactant administration!!!
when i was told i was being called to do it i was wide eyed in excitedment!
if there is one thing to look forward to this coming year, it is that ill be acting senior at the nursery......exciting and hopeful that i would do justice to my future dream! haaaay......

monday morning humor

a day of great relaxing chocolates

today i had half a day off and i chose to spend it eating lunch with my preview (one option wasnt available as my piggy is still taking care of business elsewhere) i went to my fave loner hang out mall (the shang) and got my fave magazine (preview) and ate at my fave dessert place (sugarhouse). after a scrumptious lunch with great tasting italian coffee (i was still browsing my magazine for the 3rd time) i had decided i would order dessert (as if i'd leave without doing so). i had planned to be boring and order my fave (truffle cake) but the waitress decided to spice up my already enjoyable day and recommended the triple x (one of their new cakes). i asked her what it was and she said it consisted of chocolate something, vanilla something and chocolate something else......hmmmm.....sounded interesting so i went for it.
served in front of me was a big slice of chocolate cake and biting into it i thought "i could lay down and die" IT WAS SOOOO GOOD! it was gooey and the chocolate just melted in your mouth and tickled your tastebuds just right.......yuuuummmmmy!
and then inspired by my overwhelming choco experience i decided i would like to dye my hair chocolate brown and so i went off in search for the purrrfect haircolor.....(in between i saw this real nice pair of sandals decorated intricately with beads and i mean beads! and i finally found the shoes ive been looking for only to realize i could not afford it, i mean i could but cost vs use just doesnt equal profitable)
so here i am with chocolate colored hair with a new fave chocolate cake!
PS dont you just love having a place you could hang out alone and not even mind?!

why mornings are so wonderful

ive often been asked why i get up so early even during the holidays
its because mornings are wonderful!
you get sunshine and the rest of the day ahead of you with endless possibilities
cool showers and a good day planned ahead
yummy breakfast in the morning sun which always brings a smile to my face
who would want to skip such a relaxing part of the day?

morning coffee in front of the computer

have you had one of those days when everything just seems just as you want them to be? im having one of those days. ive my coffee, ive my computer and ive got the rest of the day in front of me (the only things missing are the sun and my piggy)

i once was lost but now im found

i just finished the movie sabrina (after 3 attempts and always falling asleep before it ends). i just got so nostalgic because i came home to a sort of "weekend off" leave due to the holidays and my piggy isnt here.
i was sorting through photos to pass the time and you know how it always turns out that you feel how life was so easy back then......well that was what i felt. but another realization came to me as i was trying to piece together my lifeline through my pictures. you see i had a picture of me in a medschool uniform then my graduation, my first day as an intern, my oath taking and my first few days as a resident. in each event there was a different group of people with me but there were people who were constantly there and i guess these people were the ones who helped me realize my dream and are the reason i am where i am now.......thus the saying "i once was lost but now i found myself" really hit a note.
sabrina had found herself in paris by running away from something she had wanted but knew could not have and i, well, i found myself by sticking to my guns. its funny how sometimes you know what you want but dont know why. some would opt to be more critical but some, like i, would throw caution to the wind only to find out that what they wanted was really what they wanted. funny.... or should i say lucky.......
we often complain about how life is so hard and how more comfortable we were "back then" but you know what i think, i think we are given situations with a level of diffuculty according to our capabilities. because if you think about it, you just think life was easy back then because you are looking in retrospect. but in those days you werent always having the time of your life. you were, like you are now, tackling issues and overcoming hurdles.
if you keep on looking behind you, you might just not see the step on your way and trip, and fall, and ruin your chances of climbing to a better place...............im blessed to have found my footing, blessed to have found myself!

the emperors new clothes

especially for you

Especially for youI wanna let you know what I was going throughAll the time we were apartI thought of youYou were in my heartMy love never changedI still feel the same
Especially for youI wanna tell you I was feeling that way tooAnd if dreams were wings, you knowI would have flown to youTo be where you areNo matter how farAnd now that I'm next to you
No more dreaming about tomorrowForget the loneliness and the sorrowI've got to sayIt's all because of you
And now we're back together, together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so trueAnd all the love I have isEspecially for you
Especially for youI wanna tell you, you mean all the world to meHow I'm certain that our love was meant to beYou changed my lifeYou showed me the wayAnd now that I'm next to youI've waited long enough to find youI wanna put all the hurt behind youOh,And I wanna bring out all the love inside you,
Oh And now we're back together, togetherI wanna show you my heart is oh so trueAnd all the love I have isEspecially for you
You were in my heartMy love never changed
No more dreaming about tomorrowForget the loneliness and the sorrowI've got to sayIt's all because of you
And now we're back together, togetherI wanna show you my heart is oh so trueAnd all the love I have isEspecially for you

birthday lunch

maan and i had a good lunch last sunday. we went to this restaurant at shang where they served good filipino food with a twist. we ordered tilapia belly with coconut sauce, really crunchy lumpia and ginumis for our beverage. for our dessert we had really yummy polvoron and kapeng barako........yum yum!

the case of the missing history

today i had planned to finish my report for friday but in the middle of the process i realized that i was missing my pad paper with the histories of the charts i could not take from the record section! i looked everywhere! where could it be?
bummer, bummer, bummer........

rainy day escape

sometimes when deep in our hearts we want and try to do our best but obstacles get in our way, God knows just what to do to get us through

jostein gaarder and my favorite coffee place

i bought "the orange girl" during the second day of my leave. i enjoyed it as it had a nice twist. i remember being in le cour de france reading and getting all teary eyed near the end of the story..... so yesterday, i had missed my chance to watch the comedy/lovestory of the cine europa and went to powerbooks to see if anything interested me as i resigned to sit at starbucks and wait for my better half who had dropped me off at shang to go to a stag party. i was already all the way in the store at the teen readers section, im embarrased to say, when we were prompted to go to the exit as the store was closing. desperate, my instinct led me to the jostein gaarder books and i picked out "the solitaire mystery" (it was that or "the devil wears prada")
i headed to my favorite coffee place, should i even begin to say which, and got myself no less than a grande of the coffee of the week. i was forced to share a table with a young girl, a few years younger than i, being a saturday evening, my favorite coffee place was a favorite hang out of the old and young alike. satisfied with my purchase (the book i mean) i opened my grande to mix with sugar and to my dismay spilt all over the table and my newly opened book. so now i will always remember that book with coffee stains as the saturday before my leave ended which i spent cozily reading in my favorite coffee place.
a note of advice, do not get verona if you dont intend to stay up all night as it is sssstrong!

Villa des Roses

i went to another cine europa film thinking i would be watching un honnete commercant but when the film started it turned out to be villa des roses. crossing my fingers that it wouldnt be a scary movie......anything but scary..... the movie started and it was good. something like out of a novel i would actually read. so i went out of the theater a satisfied movie goer.

Blogging

yesterday, i found out that my blog has been deleted......my life story......but the resilient person in me said it was ok.....and that i will never blog again.....but here i am, fickle minded me blogging