self expectations and new year's resolutions

i remember during my younger days when xmas season meant finishing xmas shopping before anyone ever started theirs and doing my annual life check so that i could formulate my new years resolution. such an OC!
where has that person gone? not only have i not bought a single gift (1 week before xmas) but i have failed in certain areas of my life and could careless!
WHY?
is it because i have other priorities now?
have i been overly spoiled that i now lack discipline?
is it because im just too old for xmas?
am i done with the giving mode and have moved to the taking mode?
or have i improved and become normal.......
WHO SETS THE STANDARDS?
these days it is i
how low could i get on my pedia exams (if i got those grades when i was back in HS i would have probably jumped off a bridge!)? but i believe i have done excellent in taking care of my patients........my priority is on patient care, less on academics.......but can those two really be separated?
money is no matter when getting what i want.....im not hard to please so my wants arent that expensive but definitely more than what my starting salary could buy....but do i feel guilty when i pamper myself and end up bankrupt? sad to say i dont.....
New Year's Resolution? im working on it because i think despite being less OC i need to get my life back on track to maximize whatever i have at hand, financial wise, precious time, and ACADEMICALLY!!!
i dont think i have ever been embarrassed and had let go of the feeling as if it had been blown away by the wind like i did during last wednessday's meeting. it had flown with the wind and its so embarrassing that i dont want to recall it!
GETTING THERE
but i believe im still going where i want to go only im not sure if im approaching it the right way, if there is a better way.......

the xmas spirit

hahaha! finally placed my xmas video on my blog!
go ahead..... call me naive.......

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for ChristmasIs you...
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
You babyI won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
Im just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
i won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is youYou...
All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
- won't you please bring my baby to me...
Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas isYou...
All I want for Christmas is you baby...

on splurging and being bankrupt

i went to the derma today and made a big splurge! i had just intended to get a facial but walked out with my half month's pay of daily regimen!
vanity......

coffee girl

i just love coffee! i cant imagine mornings without it! i remember back when i was small i would persist on having it in the morning and i would be allowed to have my coffee which, back then, was milk spiked with a tiny sprinkle of instant coffee. so young but with the makings of a coffee nut!