self expectations and new year's resolutions

i remember during my younger days when xmas season meant finishing xmas shopping before anyone ever started theirs and doing my annual life check so that i could formulate my new years resolution. such an OC!
where has that person gone? not only have i not bought a single gift (1 week before xmas) but i have failed in certain areas of my life and could careless!
WHY?
is it because i have other priorities now?
have i been overly spoiled that i now lack discipline?
is it because im just too old for xmas?
am i done with the giving mode and have moved to the taking mode?
or have i improved and become normal.......
WHO SETS THE STANDARDS?
these days it is i
how low could i get on my pedia exams (if i got those grades when i was back in HS i would have probably jumped off a bridge!)? but i believe i have done excellent in taking care of my patients........my priority is on patient care, less on academics.......but can those two really be separated?
money is no matter when getting what i want.....im not hard to please so my wants arent that expensive but definitely more than what my starting salary could buy....but do i feel guilty when i pamper myself and end up bankrupt? sad to say i dont.....
New Year's Resolution? im working on it because i think despite being less OC i need to get my life back on track to maximize whatever i have at hand, financial wise, precious time, and ACADEMICALLY!!!
i dont think i have ever been embarrassed and had let go of the feeling as if it had been blown away by the wind like i did during last wednessday's meeting. it had flown with the wind and its so embarrassing that i dont want to recall it!
GETTING THERE
but i believe im still going where i want to go only im not sure if im approaching it the right way, if there is a better way.......